Understanding Emotional Healing – Why We Carry Pain

Why We Carry Pain in the Body

We often think of emotional pain as something that lives in the mind—memories, thoughts, stories from our past. But the truth is, the body remembers what the mind tries to forget. Science, ancient healing traditions, and our own personal experiences agree: when emotions aren’t allowed to move through us, they get stored within us.

Think about how many times you’ve had to “stay strong” when all you wanted to do was cry. How often have you swallowed your words, smiled through heartbreak, or held your breath just to make it through a difficult moment?

Every unspoken fear, every moment you were told to “calm down,” “be good,”

or “not make a scene”—those moments don’t just disappear. They get tucked away into the body’s tissues, muscles, and nervous system.

This is not your fault. It’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.

Your body is always working to protect you. When something feels unsafe—physically or emotionally—it does whatever it can to shield you from pain. That may look like tension in the jaw, a tight belly, frozen shoulders, shallow breathing, or a collapsed chest. These are not random. They’re signs of emotional energy being held—sometimes for years or even decades.

But over time, what once protected us can begin to restrict us.

We start to feel exhausted, emotionally reactive, disconnected from joy, or numb to our deeper truth. The pain we stored to survive begins to ask for space. The body longs to release what it never had the chance to fully express.

This is where breathwork becomes a doorway. Not by forcing anything open—but by creating a safe, compassionate space for all that’s been held inside to finally be seen, felt, and gently let go.

 The Science Behind It: The Body Remembers

Modern neuroscience confirms what healers, yogis, and mystics have known for centuries: the body is not separate from our emotional experience—it is our emotional experience. Every thought, every feeling, every moment of trauma or joy creates an imprint in the nervous system.

When we go through something overwhelming—especially without the tools or support to process it—the body doesn’t forget. Even if we’ve mentally “moved on,” the nervous system continues to respond as if the event is still happening.

This is because the brain’s limbic system (where emotions and memories are stored) and the autonomic nervous system (which governs fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses) work together to keep us safe. When we experience trauma, the brain signals the body to protect itself—tighten, contract, freeze, numb, or escape.

If the trauma isn’t resolved, these protective patterns get stored as muscle tension, shallow breathing, nervous system dysregulation, or chronic stress symptoms. We may not remember the details with our conscious mind, but the body does. This is why a smell, sound, or even a tone of voice can suddenly trigger an emotional reaction—we’re not “overreacting,” we’re reliving.

💡 As Bessel van der Kolk writes in The Body Keeps the Score:

“Trauma is not the story of something that happened in the past. It is the current imprint of that pain on the mind, brain, and body.”

This is also why talking alone often isn’t enough. We might understand our pain intellectually, but still feel disconnected, anxious, reactive, or frozen in our bodies. True healing requires us to bring the body back into the conversation. That’s where somatic practices like breathwork come in—not to fix, but to help us feel what we couldn’t feel then, in a safe, supported space now.

Breathwork helps regulate the nervous system, loosen the grip of stored tension, and rewire the way the body responds to life. Over time, it helps us rewrite the story our body is holding—one breath, one layer, one compassionate moment at a time.

Why Talking Isn’t Always Enough

Talk therapy can be incredibly valuable. It can help us understand our patterns, name our wounds, and feel seen in ways we may never have been before. But as deeply healing as it can be to speak our truth, talking doesn’t always reach the parts of us that are hurting the most.

That’s because not all trauma is stored in words.

Some of our earliest emotional wounds—especially those from childhood—were experienced before we even had language. They weren’t processed through story, but through sensation. A tense stomach. A held breath. A frozen body. A quick smile to hide the pain. These reactions get stored in the nervous system, not the mind.

This is why so many people say things like:

• “I understand where this is coming from, but I still can’t stop reacting.”

• “I’ve done years of therapy, but I still feel stuck.”

• “I know I’m safe now, but my body doesn’t feel it.”

Cognitive understanding is helpful—but it’s not the same as embodied safety. We can talk about our feelings for hours, but if the nervous system is still in survival mode, the healing can only go so far.

That’s because the body speaks a different language.

When we only use talking to process emotion, we risk bypassing the body’s wisdom. We stay in the realm of analysis instead of integration. And often, we unintentionally reinforce the belief that if we could just “think better,” we’d feel better. But healing doesn’t come from controlling the mind. It comes from softening into the body.

That’s where somatic practices like breathwork come in.

They allow us to go beyond words—to meet the emotion as energy, to feel it move, to release it without needing to explain it. Breathwork doesn’t ask you to fix anything. It simply asks you to be present—with your breath, your body, and your truth. And in that presence, the real healing begins.

Breathwork: A Path to Embodied Emotional Healing

So many of us have been taught to disconnect from our feelings—to stay in control, be productive, and “move on.” But unprocessed emotions don’t disappear. They take root in the body: as tightness in the chest, a lump in the throat, chronic tension in the shoulders, or fatigue we can’t explain. We might feel numb, reactive, anxious, or distant from joy—and not know why.

This is where breathwork becomes a bridge.

Unlike talk therapy, which primarily works with the mind, breathwork works directly with the body and nervous system. It invites you to shift from thinking about your pain to actually feeling and releasing it—gently, somatically, and at your own pace.

Through conscious, connected breathing, you create the space for emotional energy that’s been held inside—sometimes for years—to move. This could be grief that’s never been cried, anger that’s been swallowed, fear that’s kept you small, or a deep ache for love and belonging that’s been buried.

As you breathe with awareness:

• Your nervous system begins to regulate

• The body softens, making space for emotion to rise

• Old patterns start to unwind from the inside out

• You return to a sense of inner presence, safety, and openness

This is embodied emotional healing—not just talking about what you feel, but creating a safe, sacred space to feel and release it through the body.

And here’s the beauty: you don’t have to “figure it out.” You don’t need to relive or analyze everything. The breath knows. It goes to the places that need healing and supports you in releasing what you’re ready to let go of—without force, without pressure.

Every breath becomes a whisper of safety. Every exhale becomes an act of letting go. Every session becomes a return to yourself.

Who Is Breathwork For?

Breathwork is for anyone longing to reconnect—with their body, their emotions, their truth, and their inner peace. It’s a practice that welcomes all of you—your strength, your softness, your stuckness, your longing. You don’t need to be “spiritual” or “experienced” to begin. You just need to be willing to meet yourself, one breath at a time.

Breathwork is especially supportive for people navigating:

• Anxiety, overwhelm, or burnout, where the nervous system feels constantly “on” and rest feels out of reach

• Emotional numbness or reactivity, when you feel either shut down or flooded with too much at once

• Grief, heartbreak, or unprocessed trauma that still lingers in the body, long after the mind has tried to move on

• Chronic stress or tension, especially in the chest, belly, or jaw

• Feeling lost, disconnected, or stuck in old patterns that don’t reflect who you are becoming

• Creative or spiritual blocks, when you're seeking clarity, intuition, and a deeper connection to self or Source

It’s also deeply nourishing for therapists, coaches, healers, and space-holders—those who give so much to others and need a way to come back to their own breath, their own body, and their own center.

Whether you are on a journey of emotional healing, nervous system recovery, or spiritual awakening, breathwork meets you exactly where you are—and gently opens the way forward.

There is no one too broken, too closed, or too far behind for this work. If you can breathe, you can begin. 

You Are Not Broken—You Are Holding

If you’ve felt stuck, overwhelmed, anxious, numb, or like you're carrying a weight you can’t quite explain—you are not broken. You are holding.

You are holding the tears you didn’t feel safe to cry. The anger you were never allowed to express. The fears you silenced to be “strong.” The grief that had no place to go. The needs you buried to be accepted. The joy you suppressed to avoid standing out.

Your body is wise. It didn’t betray you. It protected you. It found ways to survive in moments when expressing, feeling, or falling apart didn’t feel like an option. Every breath you held, every emotion you tucked away, was an act of love—your nervous system doing everything it could to keep you safe.

But now, that same body is asking to exhale. Not because it failed—but because it’s finally ready to let go.

You don’t need to be “fixed. ”You need to be felt. Held. Heard. Breathed with.

Through breathwork, we don't force healing—we create space for what’s been held to slowly soften, unwind, and release. With each conscious breath, we return to the truth: We were never broken. We were brave.

And now, we get to be free.

Begin Your Journey Back to the Body

You don’t have to do it alone. At Breathe of Love, I offer trauma-informed breathwork sessions—online and in-person—to support your emotional release, nervous system healing, and reconnection to self.

Whether you’re just beginning or deepening your path, breathwork meets you with tenderness and truth. And I’ll be here to hold the space for your unfolding.

Ready to feel more, release more, and come home to yourself?

👉 Book your session today Book Online | Breathe Of Love